Second Verse, Hopefully Quite a Bit Different Than the First

So, about the girlfriend situation.  Basically, I still don’t fully understand the whys and wherefores myself.  Essentially, my ex has moved away from Taipei for the time being, and was apparently too chickens*** to actually tell me this in person.  I had been under the impression she was going on vacation for a few days to the south of Taiwan.  Then, two Saturdays ago, I get a text message, a F****** TEXT MESSAGE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HER GODDAMN HEAD I’M SURE I DON’T FREAKING KNOW MYSELF JESUS CHRIST BLASPHEME BLASPEME CURSE CURSE CURSE, telling me that I can find someone better, and not to come looking for her.  I receive this right as people are starting to arrive for my Halloween party, so I’m running around like crazy trying to finish up the taco salad I was preparing, going into my social-butterfly-on-twelve-kinds-of-crack party mode, and then I have to find out I’ve been dumped BY FREAKING TEXT FREAKING MESSAGE I’M GOING TO FREAKING KILL HER YAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH.

Ok, I feel better now.

Anyway, the Halloween party went quite well.  I didn’t have a chance to sit down and translate her message fully until everyone had left, but I got the gist of it.  Well, I thought, at least this means I now have free license to hit on all the girls at the party.

And oh, what girls they were…the first one to show up soon changed into a French maid costume, but that wasn’t the best one, oh no.

The BEST one was the girl wearing the tiger-print bikini.  (No, I’m not posting pictures.  Those are for ME.  Get your grubby hands off!)  She was actually very nice (and, yes, she was wearing a tiger-print bikini, SLOBBER SLOBBER DROOL PANT PANT PANT), so I got her number and invited her out the following weekend, which was last Saturday.  She speaks very good English (she lived in Brisbane, Australia for two years), she has a very good sense of humor, and, disappointingly, only wears a tiger-print bikini to Halloween parties.


But, anyway, we went to see “The Prestige” at Warner Village, which is the biggest cinema in Taipei.  They also have armrests which can be raised to allow inter-seat snuggling.  (This should TOTALLY be required in EVERY THEATER EVER!)

So, yeah, it went well.  My ego seems to have recovered quite quickly from this last breakup.  This may have something to do with meeting another girl within a hour or so of being dumped by the last one.


As for the ex, I sent her a message the day after the Halloween party, effectively saying, “Have a nice life.”  She sent me back a message saying she still wanted to be friends.  I still haven’t replied to that message, because I don’t have anything nice to say.  This may be uncharitable of me, but screw it.  I don’t need to be friends with everyone, and I don’t think I’ll go to hell for not being friends with her.

Better to be friends with that girl over there in the bikini…. 😀


5 Responses to “Second Verse, Hopefully Quite a Bit Different Than the First”

  1. Ski Says:

    You must be able to read me my mind, cuz as soon as I thought “I want to see pictures” your blog goes “no b****, they’re mine, f*** off!”

  2. taiwanben Says:

    Hey Ski, language, my friend, language! My parents read this blog! And I don’t need to read your mind. I just need to read my own. 🙂 It’s that Y chromosome talking!

  3. Patrick Cowsill Says:

    Never trust these “you can do better” kind of break-ups. They are a projection of her own self-doubt. What she is really saying is “I can do better”. I am interested to know if you met her parents or that sort of thing, and how much your being “a foreigner” came into play here.

    You’re a young guy. My advice to you is not to wallow. There are plenty of fish in the ocean and that is doubly true for Taiwan.

  4. AznSouris Says:

    Heheh. Yes, yes. There are lots of pretty girls out there waiting to throw themselves at you Ben. No need to fret over one who decides to dump you by text message. Don’t text her back. Leave her hanging in misery over how much she will miss you.

  5. Bill Says:

    Dear Ben

    “Tyger, tyger burning bright,
    In the forests of the night:
    What immortal hand or eye,
    Could shape thy fearful symmetry?”

    I trust you’ll have something to be thankful for this thanksgiving.

    Your Af’ct Cousin


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